Reflections on being a Volunteer

I’ve never felt completely at ease here. I have never been %100 without reservation about my role here.

For starters, I work at a private school. This is against my most basic principals and belief in public education. This is significant.

Saramen Chuuk Academy exists as a response to a failing public education system. This seems like a fair and justified response. With the public schools failing, the Church does the society a service by providing quality education for the most promising youth. The problem is, all the churches do this, and you end up with 8 schools for a population of a few thousand, and resources being split up and wasted. Why not use all that power, influence and money to get the public system back on its feet? And instead of bringing JVIs to Saramen Chuuk Academy, why not send them to the public school? Put all the volunteers together? This would truly, more purely satisfy the needs of the people, especially of the poor, which ought to matter to a Christian. So, I’m not convinced that SCA’s very existences was, or is the best response to a failing public high school, and I’m not convinced that I couldn’t be of more use at Chuuk High School.

Secondly, I’m working in Chuuk which, while it got screwed over by the U.S., feels like a place that has needs to take control of itself and take it’s destiny back into its own hands. There are Chuukese who could teach, but don’t for a various number of reasons. Most predominantly it is because they never came back from their education and experiences abroad. It isn’t clear to me that we, as volunteers are what is needed at this point. At least, not as North American, western volunteers.

Chuuk needs self confidence, optimism and hope in its own abilities. I don’t want someone to attribute a Saramen Chuuk Academy student’s abilities to the presence of Jesuit Volunteers. I want them to attribute it to the school itself, a Chuukese school, run by Chuukese, for Chuukese. And to attribute it to the abilities and strengths of the student him or herself. In short, I want to be invisible. If we are going to be here, then I want to be as silent and unnoticeable as possible. I want Chuukese to see the inherent potential of Chuukese, despite the discrimination, direct and indirect, that comes from the other states and countries. If we cause a deflating “oh, it’s because they have Jesuit Volunteers” sentiment then I want to leave.

For these two reasons I don’t think I’ll ever be fully at ease here. Not that I don’t love it. I love the people, the students, the school, the teachers. The islands are beautiful, and I’m happy on a day to day basis. Wonderfully happy. It is just that I’m not convinced that everything is as it ought to be, that I really want to be supporting, full fledged, that which I am supporting, full fledged, simply by being here.

All that said, I find comfort in knowing that while it may not feel perfect, it is far from feeling wrong. I am happy, and I take comfort in doing what I can for a state that, like so many, has been marginalized and bullied and has had a massive uphill battle towards equality placed before it.